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What’s Your Big Why?

“Until thought is linked with purpose there is no intelligent accomplishment”

-James Allen, As A Man Thinketh

Do you know WHY you do what you do? Sure, you do what you do, because you have a talent or gift for what you do, need to support yourself, or perhaps just “fell” into your career. But what’s your BIG purpose?

What’s the BIG WHY behind what you’re doing? It is absolutely crucial to figure out your BIG WHY for several reasons:

1-Your BIG WHY is the reason you get up every morning and go to work.

2-It’s what keeps you anchored and unwavering, during those dark and challenging times in your business. It’s why you continue to take one step forward and continue on-even though at times, it seems so bleak in the moment.

3-People buy your “why”, not the “how” or “what” you do-they buy the “why”.

My “BIG WHY” is because of my mother. My mother was a brilliant, talented, highly intuitive, sensitive person who later on in life went back to school and completed her undergraduate degree, then went on to get her master’s degree-getting straight A’s throughout. Unfortunately, she grew up in a family that did not value her gifts, nor gave her much encouragement. They told her she would never be anything but someone’s wife.

After she attained all her degrees, she had lots ideas for starting a business, but was never able to even get started on any of them, because of her low self-confidence, low self-esteem and her mindset. Her parent’s told her she would never be able to do anything, so she believed them and she didn’t. My mother passed away from lung cancer at the age of 56.

I started my business, Higher Performing People, because I am passionate about helping people tap into their gifts and reach their full potential-no matter what someone told them in the past, or in spite of the messages they give themselves. I fully believe people are capable of so much more than they sometimes see for themselves!

So what’s your “BIG WHY”? Because if you aren’t experiencing the abundance you want, something’s keeping you from believing in your abundance and you don’t actually expect it. Getting plugged into your “BIG WHY” is a great start.

Assignment: On a sheet of paper, draw three concentric circles (being sure that in the middle, all three circles overlap each other). Answer the following questions:

When you think about being of service to others through your work, where do you get the most joy?
What comes naturally to you that you love doing?
What could you do all day for free?

Be honest-these are your answers, not what someone else wants for you, or thinks you should be doing!

Thinking about what stirs your soul-in the first circle, put in your first passion, in the second circle put in your second passion, then in the third circle put your third passion. It is possible to have more than three passions, but try to limit this exercise to your top three. Make sure one of your passions has a “who” to it, for example, entrepreneurs, leaders, kids, women, men etc.

Look at your three passions and give some thought to “why” you picked these three. What experiences in your life led you to these three passions? In the middle-where all three circles intersect-is your “BIG WHY”. For example, my three passions are: entrepreneurs, people reaching their full potential and teaching.

This exercise should help you determine your “BIG WHY”. Once you can articulate your “BIG WHY”, it can help you make a commitment to your business or profession. It becomes the anchor. If what you came up with is very different than what you’re doing right now-then just sit with it. Don’t judge it and don’t worry about the “how”. Because the “how” won’t show up until you’ve committed to the “WHY”.

What’s Your Networking Strategy?

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A better mousetrap, by itself, does not win sales. It takes prospecting, networking, asking good questions, presenting good solutions and asking for the order. So, what’s your networking strategy?

Here are some tips to help you create a networking strategy and start getting prospects in your pipeline:

1-Map out a monthly networking strategy. I advise my clients to map out a monthly networking strategy. September and October seem to be the time organizations and associations start back up with their regular or annual meetings. Look at all the events in your area, pick the ones that make sense for you to attend and put them on your calendar. Tell your spouse or partner of the dates in advance, get a babysitter if needed, clear your calendar and make it a priority to get to these events. And remember, it’s a priority to go to the ones where your clients hang out. Attending events that draw people in your line of work isn’t going to get you new business-you need to be where your prospects and customers are!

2-Make sure you have a compelling elevator speech-not mumbo-jumbo about what you do, who you work for, your title etc. Those kinds of elevator speeches lose people. It needs to be memorable and one a kindergartner can understand and repeat. I like to use the following model to help my clients create a fabulous, memorable elevator speech:

I work with (insert ideal client profile) who struggle with (insert their struggle) and who would like to (insert do anything; pay anything to get out of their pain).

So, for example, I work with entrepreneurs who struggle with their organizational skills and would do anything to take their business to the next level.

3-Are you working the room? Or are you hanging out with the people you know, or maybe even your colleagues? If you are going to take the time to attend these events, you must be talking to as many new people as you can. If you are an introvert and find “working the room” a challenge, set a goal for yourself around the number of business cards you will collect before you leave. Say to yourself, “I’m going to have five good conversations and exchange business cards with five people before I leave this room”.

4-Follow up, Follow up, Follow up! This is often the place where people fall down. They put the business cards in their pocket, go home and forget about the cards until the next time they put on the suitcoat and reach in their pocket and feel the business cards left behind. It’s imperative that after the networking event, you have a disciplined way of following up with the connections you made the night before. You must make it a priority!

So I strongly urge you to create a networking strategy for the month of October. Find the events where your clients hang out, brush up your elevator speech, work the room and follow up with all the fabulous people you meet!

“Networking is not about hunting. It is about farming. It’s about cultivating relationships. Don’t engage in ‘premature solicitation’. You’ll be a better networker if you remember that.” – Dr. Ivan Misner, NY bestselling author & founder of BNI

You Must Be Clear On What You Want

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In a conversation this week with a new client, I asked, “If you could wave a magic wand, where would your business be 12 months from now?” He spoke about wanting to transition his work from acrylic to oil paints (he’s an artist), hopefully get into a state museum, and get into a couple of galleries outside of New England. I asked him if he had an income goal in mind and he had to stop and think a minute and said, “It would be great if I could get to $60,000”. When I asked him how he was doing towards that number…he didn’t know.

I must say, I am consistently surprised how many entrepreneurs I speak with aren’t clear on how much they want to make. It’s almost like they are afraid of drawing that line in the sand, because it then means that they have to commit to making it…or not.

It’s important to be absolutely clear on what you want for, and from, your business. In my experience of working with entrepreneurs the past ten years, I can tell you that those clients that knew where they wanted to be in their businesses 12 months, three years, five years and ten years down the road, have hands down been more successful than those that weren’t clear on what they wanted or where they wanted to go.

And the clearer you are with yourself about what you want to accomplish, the more clear it will be to the Universe to help support you in the effort. So if you have not written down what you want to make in the next twelve months, I would request that you do it today. Write the number down, in pen and put it somewhere where you can see it once a week or so. I am confident that in twelve months, you will be pleasantly surprised with the results!

Do You Take The “No Excuses” Approach?

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We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.
Rudyard Kipling

“I’m too busy right now”, “Next year is probably a better time to start”, “I need to wait until the kids get settled into school”, “I need to wait until after the holidays”, “It was just really crazy last week, and I couldn’t get it done” “Are you kidding me, I can’t afford that now.”

Sound familiar? These are often the excuses we tell ourselves in our business. Even when we have the very best intentions to get more clients, build our business, attend more networking events, write a book, start a blog or newsletter, or start a new product.

I’m so surprised how often people stop themselves from doing something they say they REALLY want to do in their lives or business by using excuses. And what it boils down to is the INNER SELF DOUBT that consistently allows people who SAY they want more clients or to make more money in their business to question, over think and become unwilling to take the steps or do the work that can create the result. And it’s that same inner self-doubt that creates the excuses that come up, “I don’t know how to sell”, “I can’t afford that now”, and “I’m not sure that’s right for MY business.”

This inner self-doubt, the questioning everything, and the not taking serious ACTION when the solution shows up, all comes down to one thing that’s called…SELF SABOTAGE.

You need to realize that THE limitation around getting to the next level in your business is created by your own mindset. Once you realize that, you can change your perspective, stop using excuses and make the commitment to “just go for it”.

Here’s a process that I’ve seen work with myself and in my clients recently:

They make a firm decision (to succeed, to attend something, to write that book, buy something)
They stop over thinking and start looking at what’s in front of them in terms of solutions and possibilities
They spend time quieting the inner critic and the relentless self doubt
They are totally committed and they get very creative in looking at different ways of making it happen
They take ACTION in spite of the fear and self doubt

Once you make the decision to succeed, it’s time to commit to doing whatever it takes to make it happen.

Whatever it takes.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:

Answer this question: What is it that you are wanting to do that you’re stopping yourself with excuses or money or time?

Make a list-be honest with yourself and if you see yourself doing this very thing…

Answer this question: How BADLY do you want this thing, whatever it is?

If it’s something you want really badly, then you need to approach it as a life or death situation. Shut all the “back doors” and “ways out”, stop with the excuses and start taking bold, decisive action towards what you say you want in your business or your life. It’s about saying YES to what’s possible for you, saying YES to all the opportunities that are before you.

Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.
Francois La Rochefoucauld

3 Steps to Improve Your Listening Skills

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Someone once said that there’s a reason we are given two ears and one mouth. The implication being, we should listen more than we speak. It can be a challenge to learn to listen as an executive or business owner. But the good news is, listening is a “learned skill” and becoming a better listener is totally worth the effort.

Most executives or business owners are often in the spotlight and expected to be the one leading the conversation, having all the answers and driving the conversation. Therefore, often times that expectation pushes people into constantly and consistently being in the speaking role, rather than the listening role. From my experience as a business coach, being a good listener is one of the top five competencies a leader must have in order to be successful. Because for employees (and all of us), there is nothing quite as satisfying as being heard. It’s the first and foremost way to nurture the creative, imaginative and impassioned energy in our employees. An excerpt from the essay, “Everybody is Original” by Brenda Ueland, states:

“…this joyful, imaginative, impassioned energy dies out of us very young. Why? Because we do not see that it is great and important. Because we let dry obligation take its place. Because we don’t respect it in ourselves and keep it alive by using it. And because we don’t keep it alive in others by listening to them.”

What are some things we can do to improve our listening skills?

1-Become an Active Listener-Use eye contact and “listening” body language. This includes looking directly at the speaker without staring, giving them eye contact, and your full attention. Avoid looking at your watch, at other people, your computer or cellphone, or other activities around the room. Lean toward the speaker, showing them you are fully aware of their speaking and their words. Provide feedback with your body, nodding your head as it is appropriate.

2-Be empathetic and non-judgmental-When you value the speaker and accept the speaker’s feelings you will be able to empathize more fully, to “hear” more clearly and completely. Forego judgments. Be present with the speaker, so you can hear, comprehend and understand what they are saying.

3-Paraphrase/Tell Back-Listen so intently that you are able to paraphrase back what the speaker told you. For example, you might say, “What I heard you say was…” When you can “tell back” (not necessarily in the “exact” words, but in similar words) what the speaker has said, this lets them know you have truly heard them.

Too few people really “hear” what others say. To quote Ueland once again from her essay, “The Art Of Listening:”

“Remember, it is not enough just to will to listen to people. One must really listen. Only then does the magic begin.”

Listening is an art, and a gift you give to others, and a skill that’s very worth acquiring.

It’s The Worst It Will Ever Be…

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Okay-I admit it-I’m a self-proclaimed perfectionist (which others would agree with, particularly my spouse!) And while this characteristic has at varying times served me well, it has alsocaused a lot of “stuckness” on my part.

When I first started my business, I got stuck on everything. My business name, the logo, how the website should look, my business cards, you name it, I couldn’t get started on any of it-it all felt overwhelming. Mostly, I was worried that it wasn’t perfect, that it didn’t “look right”.

My resistance to moving ahead on these projects became so painful, I nearly went back into the corporate world and gave up my dream of having a coaching and consulting business! So I totally understand when I work with clients today who can’t seem to move forward on a particular project or goal that they are REALLY wanting to create or achieve. They have such gifts they need to bring to the world through their work, but they resist getting started or taking the first step.

What others think:

Resistance is one of the processes that masks fear. And more times than not, this fear is worrying about what other people might think. That worry, frankly, underlies all fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation, and even fear of success. We worry that whatever it is we’re setting out to do won’t be good enough in the eyes of others.

Trust me on this: You’ll worry a lot less about what other people think of you if you will acknowledge how infrequently other people think of you!

Everything good was once a bad first draft:

When I wanted to launch my first teleclass, and was anguishing over getting the marketing copy and the content perfect, someone said to me, “It’s the worst it will ever be, just go with it”. And I found this to be true. Once I got something down on paper, or took the first few steps on a project, I could always go back and change it, tweak it, even perfect it!

I saw a T-shirt the other day that captured this beautifully. It said: Everything good was once a bad first draft. You have to sit down and get that first awful draft finished so that you can begin polishing it through each successive approximation.

Assignment:

If there is something you are wishing to start, accomplish, complete, but can’t take that first step,try to figure out where the resistance is coming from-is it your own fears, worried about what others might think or say, fear of success. Whatever it is-it’s worth identifying.

Then just start-anywhere, write down a few things on a cocktail napkin, or type a few lines on your computer, or take just the first step to get going. Remember, you can always go back later and fix it. Someone also once told me, “Done is better than perfect”. Which is so perfect!

The path from good to great leads through good enough!!

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